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Milton Berle Quotes

Milton Berle picture quotes and sayings

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

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"I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting." Make picture quote!
"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight." Make picture quote!
"The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring." Make picture quote!
"Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient." Make picture quote!
"Laughter is an instant vacation." Make picture quote!
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" Make picture quote!
"I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are." Make picture quote!
"I live to laugh, and I laugh to live." Make picture quote!
"I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?" Make picture quote!
"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name." Make picture quote!
"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours." Make picture quote!
"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." Make picture quote!
"Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies." Make picture quote!
"The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late." Make picture quote!

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