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Woody Allen Quotes

Unique Woody Allen picture quotes and sayings

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.


Quotes without pictures. Click the link below to create unique picture quotes quick and easy.

"I've never been an intellectual but I have this look." Make picture quote!
"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable." Make picture quote!
"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television." Make picture quote!
"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." Make picture quote!
"It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more." Make picture quote!
"It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune." Make picture quote!
"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." Make picture quote!
"In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows." Make picture quote!
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." Make picture quote!
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank." Make picture quote!
"I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!" Make picture quote!
"If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right." Make picture quote!
"Marriage is the death of hope." Make picture quote!
"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own." Make picture quote!
"I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens." Make picture quote!
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." Make picture quote!
"I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse." Make picture quote!
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead." Make picture quote!
"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox." Make picture quote!
"I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'" Make picture quote!
"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia." Make picture quote!
"I think being funny is not anyone's first choice." Make picture quote!
"I tended to place my wife under a pedestal." Make picture quote!
"If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job." Make picture quote!
"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness." Make picture quote!
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." Make picture quote!
"Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage." Make picture quote!
"Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?" Make picture quote!
"Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen." Make picture quote!
"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room." Make picture quote!
"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?" Make picture quote!
"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet." Make picture quote!
"Tradition is the illusion of permanance." Make picture quote!
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once." Make picture quote!
"The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have." Make picture quote!
"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon." Make picture quote!
"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small." Make picture quote!
"Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun." Make picture quote!
"Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words." Make picture quote!
"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up." Make picture quote!
"Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea." Make picture quote!
"Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies." Make picture quote!
"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down ." Make picture quote!
"Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday." Make picture quote!
"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else." Make picture quote!
"My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker." Make picture quote!
"Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all." Make picture quote!
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." Make picture quote!
"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" Make picture quote!
"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep." Make picture quote!
"Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there." Make picture quote!
"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition." Make picture quote!
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys." Make picture quote!
"As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on." Make picture quote!
"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." Make picture quote!
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Make picture quote!
"Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue." Make picture quote!
"Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down." Make picture quote!
"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it." Make picture quote!
"He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian." Make picture quote!
"His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy." Make picture quote!
"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib." Make picture quote!
"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers." Make picture quote!
"Eighty percent of success is showing up." Make picture quote!
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying." Make picture quote!
"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." Make picture quote!
"I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her." Make picture quote!
"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear." Make picture quote!
"I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government." Make picture quote!
"I am two with nature." Make picture quote!
"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." Make picture quote!
"I failed to make the chess team because of my height." Make picture quote!
"I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow dishes for Chinese restaurants." Make picture quote!
"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever." Make picture quote!
"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative." Make picture quote!
"It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies." Make picture quote!
"You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smouldering sexuality don't always win, I'm sorry to say." Make picture quote!




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