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"You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6." Make picture quote!
"People don't understand that that's really what it is. They're looking for a magic phone number or something. And to a certain extent, I understand that, because comedy is treated so much as a stepping stone by a lot of people." Make picture quote!
"People in New York love having roof parties." Make picture quote!
"Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself." Make picture quote!
"There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake." Make picture quote!
"Well, I have since seen you at Tinkle. It's a comedy show started by David Cross, me and Jon Benjamin. It features a wide variety of acts for all tastes and seasons." Make picture quote!
"You always think you're better than you are in the beginning." Make picture quote!
"My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act." Make picture quote!
"Some venues are better run than others. Sometimes it's just maddening to deal with full dinners being served in front of your face. You can have a good or bad show anywhere." Make picture quote!
"I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things." Make picture quote!
"It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special." Make picture quote!
"I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place." Make picture quote!
"I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone." Make picture quote!
"I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy." Make picture quote!
"I've never been a TV junkie. I remember watching Letterman way back when he had a morning show." Make picture quote!
"If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts." Make picture quote!
"If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward." Make picture quote!
"There's people that are just in awe of what you do, and then there are people who just think it's garbage. And I think there are people who are just uncomfortable seeing someone have fun with their job." Make picture quote!
"I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport." Make picture quote!
"I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value." Make picture quote!
"I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate." Make picture quote!
"I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange." Make picture quote!
"I had some friends that tried it down there, and I went to a couple of open mics, and I just kind of got this... this sick urge to try it instead of just watching it." Make picture quote!
"I had temping jobs also. I liked the flexibility. There was no asking for time off; you just didn't work." Make picture quote!
"I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that." Make picture quote!
"I must have done everything I had. You go through years where you go through everything you've ever written." Make picture quote!
"I will not be misquoted!" Make picture quote!
"I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be when I started." Make picture quote!
"I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all." Make picture quote!
"I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film." Make picture quote!
"I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires." Make picture quote!
"I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase." Make picture quote!
"I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors." Make picture quote!
"I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also." Make picture quote!
"I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right." Make picture quote!
"I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that." Make picture quote!
"I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage." Make picture quote!
"I mean, I guess I realized subconsciously that this is what I should be doing before I realized it, consciously. Verbally, I don't think I had committed to it, even though I was driving everywhere, every night, just trying to get on stage." Make picture quote!
"I loved Australia. I was very successful there." Make picture quote!
"I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians." Make picture quote!
"I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance, but someone else may not know about it." Make picture quote!
"I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up." Make picture quote!
"Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days." Make picture quote!
"Anyone who bombs is my friend." Make picture quote!
"And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy." Make picture quote!
"I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year." Make picture quote!
"I got access to a private tour of the zoo. I got to go in a cage with a koala, which I highly recommend." Make picture quote!

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